Elidibus's efforts at 'experimenting with contact' slow as he listens to Lahabrea struggling to articulate how there is room for joy and sorrow. The pen stills again but this time, it is set down. So much has been said that has logical meaning. The words spoken of their God... how true. Has he not said as much before, in the past? He has, hasn't he? A soft sigh escapes him as though resigned.
But that is completely opposite of the emotion struggling to surface and make its way through the bond. The one that so oft surfaces when struggling through the realization of another lost memory, though most usually hidden behind mask and robe. Confusion. Frustration. If it is this bad now, how much moreso was it in the beginning when he realized what was happening to him?
"I am Elidibus. And it is my duty to remain ever apart, that I might keep the balance between Light and Dark. That I may steer our people to the correct choice." The others got to shepherd the world. He... he was a shepherd to their people, whether that be for or against their actions. He had to remain apart.
The Ascian doesn't look up. But his shoulders have hunched and tension which had been removed by earlier, surprisingly relaxing contact and touch, is returning. His expression would be one likened to distress and struggle. Of someone who repeats a rote message to make sure he remembers he still has his duty... over and over and over again. Those words have that cadence. Of one seeking to still some unrest. It is like a twisted taint upon those old times, where his enthusiasm for work bordered on obsession, but was done with such joy and wonder for the world.
"Memories are so fleeting. Would you ask me to bear their happiness? Their joy of the moment, when they will fade again?" He's said something of the sort to Emet-Selch before. But here, there is something to add. A tap of his free hand to the open journal. "It is enough that I must suffer writing of a matter here." And should he write of some fleeting happiness and forget it? There it would be, stark proof. He is not looking forward to it. "No. I would rather remain true to my office. Therein lies my purpose, even here."
Without his memories, he is only his duty and the will of his people. Without the title of Elidibus, without performing that duty is he then nothing? The fingers still at rest against the side of the dragon's neck dig in a little. It seems the answer to Lahabrea's earlier question is yes. Elidibus can still feel pain in the emotional sense, if not the physical.
And perhaps implied, that he suffers fear, though it does not surface here. He is but a Primal, uncertain whether he can even be considered the true Elidibus. Where would be his place at duty end, but to perhaps, if lucky, return to Zodiark's heart?
And if not, to fade into oblivion.
Elidibus doesn't push Lahabrea's actions away. In a sense, the touch is an anchor he can use. But also a part of him seems to recognize that he's hiding nothing from his fellow Ascian. And maybe underneath it all, there is something soothing he craves about it. If only he had the capacity.
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But that is completely opposite of the emotion struggling to surface and make its way through the bond. The one that so oft surfaces when struggling through the realization of another lost memory, though most usually hidden behind mask and robe. Confusion. Frustration. If it is this bad now, how much moreso was it in the beginning when he realized what was happening to him?
"I am Elidibus. And it is my duty to remain ever apart, that I might keep the balance between Light and Dark. That I may steer our people to the correct choice." The others got to shepherd the world. He... he was a shepherd to their people, whether that be for or against their actions. He had to remain apart.
The Ascian doesn't look up. But his shoulders have hunched and tension which had been removed by earlier, surprisingly relaxing contact and touch, is returning. His expression would be one likened to distress and struggle. Of someone who repeats a rote message to make sure he remembers he still has his duty... over and over and over again. Those words have that cadence. Of one seeking to still some unrest. It is like a twisted taint upon those old times, where his enthusiasm for work bordered on obsession, but was done with such joy and wonder for the world.
"Memories are so fleeting. Would you ask me to bear their happiness? Their joy of the moment, when they will fade again?" He's said something of the sort to Emet-Selch before. But here, there is something to add. A tap of his free hand to the open journal. "It is enough that I must suffer writing of a matter here." And should he write of some fleeting happiness and forget it? There it would be, stark proof. He is not looking forward to it. "No. I would rather remain true to my office. Therein lies my purpose, even here."
Without his memories, he is only his duty and the will of his people. Without the title of Elidibus, without performing that duty is he then nothing? The fingers still at rest against the side of the dragon's neck dig in a little. It seems the answer to Lahabrea's earlier question is yes. Elidibus can still feel pain in the emotional sense, if not the physical.
And perhaps implied, that he suffers fear, though it does not surface here. He is but a Primal, uncertain whether he can even be considered the true Elidibus. Where would be his place at duty end, but to perhaps, if lucky, return to Zodiark's heart?
And if not, to fade into oblivion.
Elidibus doesn't push Lahabrea's actions away. In a sense, the touch is an anchor he can use. But also a part of him seems to recognize that he's hiding nothing from his fellow Ascian. And maybe underneath it all, there is something soothing he craves about it. If only he had the capacity.